


Podrace

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: Evil Space Dads [81]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up and Make Up, Cuddling, Dad AU, Emperor Hux, F/F, M/M, Podracing, Poison, Suicidal Ideation, past mpreg Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 21:13:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13152156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: He made a vague noise of agreement, feeling like he'd collapse if he had to say something. He wanted,needed, to go home, forget about this dreadful planet forever and forget about this awful girl that looked so much like Kylo that she was exactly who he thought she was, even though, so long ago, she was supposed to die.Why couldn't she have died?-Hux and Kylo find their long lost daughter. Kylo doesn't take the fact that Hux has kept secrets from him well.





	Podrace

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not compliant with TLJ
> 
> Happy holidays y'all I finished this in time for Christmas lmao w 50 minutes to spare  
> Thanks to my friends Hux doesn't die in this fic on a vote of 4 - 1, and thank u to @Isilwenshadewind especially for the alternative to death  
> I wanted to write a fic where Hux and Ren have an adult kid, so here we are

**Podrace**

The Prime Minister of the planet they were visiting for an alliance agreement was insistent that they enjoy themselves on the planet. Hux wasn't sure how exactly they were supposed to do so when the planet was filthy and overrun with crime. It didn't help that Kylo was on edge from all the bad intent he was sensing around them. People who were considering taking a crack at the Emperor but ultimately just stayed where they were.

"There is a large pod race coming up soon! You simply must watch it, our very own champion has registered to race in it this afternoon."

"Champion?"

"The Queen of the course! A mostly human girl who's broken numerous records and has rarely lost since she was merely a child. Her name is Foundling. She looks rather similar to your Consort, my liege."

"Interesting." Hux could care less about some rapscallion racer girl. He wanted to have the alliance treaty signed so he could go home and take a nice, long shower and cleanse himself of how disgusting this planet was. He was grateful he was wearing black, or else his white clothes would have been brown with dust.

Kylo's interest, on the other hand, was piqued. "Why is her name Foundling?"

"She was abandoned here as an infant, and was raised by the community. Hence, a foundling. Despite her rough start, she's made quite a life for herself. We're all so proud of her! Follow me, I'll see if we can meet her before the race preparation starts!"

Hux didn't want to, remembering something he'd forgotten about this planet and longing to run home, but Kylo seemed interested in watching a pod race and meeting the champion that looked like him. The Prime Minister looked pleased, and he excitedly escorted them to the race track in his speeder. The track was huge, and as they flew over it, Hux could see how dangerous it was. He spotted a twisted up pod lodged in some rock formations, with multiple scavengers prying at its parts. They arrived at a large building with people all around it. A few people were leading pods inside of a large hangar door.

They landed just outside the building, and someone came up to them. "Sir!"

"Ahh, Ooblen! Is Miss Foundling here?"

"Yes, she's finishing her registration and paying the entrance fee."

"Ah, how long will that take?"

"About twenty minutes. The race begins in two hours."

"Tell her to come to the royal balcony as soon as she can! I have two guests I'd like her to meet." 

"Yes, sir." The green alien hurried off, and the Prime Minister drove them to a different part of the stadium, a large balcony that gave a magnificent view of the race track. There was a plush couch on the balcony, along with a few bedazzled waiter droids. The droids rushed off to get refreshments as soon as they saw there were guests.

The Prime Minister took a glass of alcohol when it was brought out. Hux rejected the glass when it was offered to him, asking for water, and Kylo stared a droid down until it left him alone. Hux took the glass of water when the droid returned, and the droid folded itself, holding its tray on top of itself like a table. After taking a long sip, he put it down.

-

Twenty six minutes later, a speeder pulled up in front of the balcony and a tall figure hopped out, reaching back to the car to assist a short alien in coming out. The two held hands, and they approached. 

"Prime Minister! How have you been?"

"Just swell! Good morning, Miss Foundling, Miss Beckles."

The small alien gave a little bow. "Good morning to you too, Sir!"

"That's a Pa'lowick," Kylo whispered in Hux's ear. "They're known for their singing."

Hux thought she looked rather dreadful, despite her high quality skirt and many shining bracelets. As Emperor, he'd seen many weird aliens, but this little Pa'lowick was up there with the strangest. 

Foundling was covered from head to toe in filthy, dark clothing, a helmet on her head with two large filters jutting from either side of her cheeks. Her jacket was covered in medals, most with pictures of pods on them, all but one silver medal a brilliant gold. She saw them, "Hello! Shucks, I didn't see you there! I'm Foundling, it's nice to meet ya'!"

"This is Emperor Hux, and his Knight-Consort, Kylo Ren. My Lords, this is Champion Foundling."

Foundling extended a hand, and Hux stared at it. She didn't expect him to touch her, did she? Kylo shook her hand for him. Beckles did another bow, looking flustered.

She tugged on Foundling's arm. "If I'd known we'd be in front of royalty, I'd have had you clean up!"

Foundling laughed, and took off her helmet. Hux felt sick.

The resemblance to Kylo was uncanny. Her hair was the same wavy black, cut short and mused by her helmet. Her eyes were the same deep brown, glinting with happiness in the same way Kylo's did whenever it was just the two of them having a close moment or doing something exhilarating. Her face wasn't as unique as his, dulled with rounder, softer features, her cheeks just slightly more hollowed.

Kylo pulled down his hood for a visual comparison, grinning. "We do look alike! Isn't that fascinating, Hux?"

He made a vague noise of agreement, feeling like he'd collapse if he had to say something. He wanted, _needed_ , to go home, forget about this dreadful planet forever and forget about this awful girl that looked so much like Kylo that she was exactly who he thought she was, even though, so long ago, she was supposed to die.

_Why couldn't she have died?_

"Wow! Becks, look at that! Don't we look like copies?"

The dreadful little alien giggled, "He looks like he could be your father, honey!"

Why did this tainted planet have to find the remaining scrapes of kindness in itself to raise her? That was the _point._ He'd left her here to _die._

"Oh, you're right! My parents must have looked a lot like you, Mr. Ren! Will you be watching the race?"

"Yes. I look forward to seeing you in it."

"You're in luck! If I win, I'll be taking a hiatus, so you'll have caught the last of Foundling's races for a while! The prize money is really high, so I won't be needing to work if I win. Then I'll be able to spoil Becks all I want!"

"Oh, honey!"

"You're my princess, Becks! I'm gonna give you the pampering you deserve!" Beckles giggled again. Foundling scooped her up and placed her on her shoulder. She held on with one thin arm. "Excuse me, sirs, I need to go back to my pod. Need to fine tune her before the big race. It was nice meeting you!"

"You as well."

The two women left, Foundling giving them a little salute in farewell. Kylo turned to Hux, "That was interesting. I'm eager to see how she does."

"Mhmm." He wished Kylo had no interest in pod racing and just wanted to go home. That he'd be bored and want to go like he usually did whenever they were on diplomatic trips.

-

Hux fervently hoped that somehow she would die during the race, so they could leave and never return. But she sped through all the obstacles like magic, dodged the dirty tricks her opponents threw at her, threw some back, and reached first place and stayed there. Kylo was excited by it all. He and the prime minister were focused on it, unaware of how anxious and uncomfortable Hux was.

As she crossed the finish line for the third lap, winning the race, the spectators erupted with cheers.

Hux wanted to leave now that the race was over, but Kylo wanted to go down and congratulate her. He couldn't protest, not without a good reason, and he surely couldn't tell him the true reason. Kylo would be upset, heartbroken, angry. The girl wouldn't be happy, and he'd be disgraced.

 _Foundling,_ the Queen of the Course.

As they neared the girl, who was happily standing on her pod, girlfriend on her shoulders, the crowd roared with applause. The prize money was brought over, along with a medal. Right before she could accept her winnings, a few people screamed, and a blaster shot rang out. 

Kylo pulled Hux close, and reached out his arm to protect Foundling, but stopped. Foundling was shielding Beckles, holding out an arm. The blaster bolt was frozen in place, right in front of her hand. She was shaking, fear on her face. Beckles was covering her eyes, tucked against her lover. 

When the Pa'lowick made a sound, Foundling scrambled away from the bolt. She brought her arm to her chest, and it continued its trajectory, hitting the other side of the course. 

Hux could tell that any hope he had in leaving before Kylo figured it out was lost. An expert pilot that looked just like him, who was also Force sensitive? Kylo wasn't an idiot, no matter how many times Hux called him one. Force users could sense who their relatives were if they focused. He'd went to protect her, despite his sole duty being to protect the Emperor, so he'd already bonded with her.

Kylo walked up to her and took her hand, pulling her back. He guided Hux with his other arm, and brought them into the speeder. Foundling sat down, shaking. Beckles slid down onto her lap, tears in her stalk eyes. The driver took off, heading back to their ship.

After they were in the air, Foundling seemed to calm down. "Wh-what was that?"

"That was the Force."

"I've heard stories about warriors who use magic. You, of course, and... um, Darth Vader, I think. Are you like Darth Vader?"

"I'm his grandson. I'm following in his footsteps." Hux hoped this wouldn't turn into a discussion about Vader. He'd heard too many of them. "You feel so familiar, but I know we've never met before today."

Foundling wrapped her arms around Beckles, who put her hands over her girlfriend's. "I've never used magic before. It's- I don't want to do that again."

"It's not magic. It's a power that's been passed on down to you. You're our daughter, you have to be. Hux?" Kylo pressed at his thoughts. Hux dreaded confirming it, but showed Kylo a quick memory of him wrapping the baby in a blanket and leaving her in the desert.

 _Foundling,_ the Heir to his Empire.

She looked surprised, but didn't doubt him at all. Beckles was just as startled by the news. "I- I am?"

"Yes. Hux left you here. We've only just found you."

Beckles finally spoke, eyeing the two of them, "Why'd you leave her here and not say anything, Sir?"

Kylo stared at him, waiting for the answer. Hux dug his nails into his palms. "It was a dreadful period during the war, I couldn't keep a child with me. I thought she'd died."

He didn't look angry, why wasn't he angry? Hux didn't understand why Kylo didn't hate him for keeping this a secret for so long. He would be furious if Kylo kept a huge secret like that from him. He looked away as Kylo explained the Force to Foundling and exchanged stories with her.

-

Foundling and Beckles were brought to a guest room they could stay in once they reached the palace, as troopers were sent to retrieve their belongings from their house. The two women seemed overwhelmed by everything, and were relieved to be left to themselves.

Kylo's whole attitude shifted as soon as the two of them were alone, and Hux hadn't braced himself for it, relaxing when he thought Kylo wasn't upset.

"How could you keep her from me? Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"I didn't want her."

"You should have given her to me. She's my daughter."

"You have her now. Go catch up some more with her in the evening."

Kylo scowled. "I should have raised her. But you're too selfish. You were ashamed of her, weren't you? The great General- pregnant. I bet you hated it."

"I didn't want to be smothered by you. We weren't fit to raise a child."

"No, it would have gotten in the way of your rise to power. Don't make excuses. They're all lies. You hated her because she would hinder your career, make us too close."

"Don't say that. I love you."

"I don't believe you. You just use me for protection and intimidation. I went into this partnership knowing that." That hurt, he really did like Ren's companionship. "If you really did love me you would have told me about her sooner. You're at the top of the galaxy, why did it take the Force pushing her to me for you to finally admit we had a child? Even if you thought she was dead, it would have been far nicer hearing from you that you abandoned our baby, right after you became Emperor. She's an adult!"

"What, do you want me to grovel and beg for forgiveness? I'm not going to. What's done is done, I left her there to die, and you're reunited now. I'm going to take a shower."

"I've had enough of you. I'll stay for Foundling, but that's it."

"You can't just-"

"I don't want to be the consort of a man that lies to me and kept our child secret. I'll be your protector but only because I have nothing else to do with my power."

"Fine," Hux snapped, even though he could feel his heart breaking. "Do whatever you want. I don't need your love." He felt like he was going to vomit. He could barely believe what he was hearing. He'd thought he'd made it clear to Ren over the years that he loved him more than anything.

"Goodbye, Emperor."

-

Kylo cleared out his things from the master bedroom, and Hux hated how lonely he felt. The room had never felt so big before when he had Kylo by his side at every moment. He could work all night long, without him complaining about it, and he hated it. Kylo accompanied him to meetings and outings, but they never spoke, and Kylo pulled out an old helmet and wore it again.

Foundling and Beckles seemed to be enjoying themselves, but were quiet around them. He watched her train with Kylo out a window, and they looked happy. He always left before they were done so he wouldn't be spotted, though Beckles had waved to him a few times from where she sat in the garden.

He supposed he should be glad that his daughter was getting along with her father, training and enjoying herself, in a happy relationship with her girlfriend. And he was glad that she was happy, but his own loneliness overpowered that. He wasn't jealous, just fully aware that he didn't deserve to be a part of her happiness, and didn't deserve to have a relationship with Kylo. Their marriage had been nulled days after Foundling arrived, and Kylo returned his wedding ring to him.

Hux wore them both, with some other rings. He moved his own wedding band to a different finger, and kept his ring finger devoid of jewelry. The gossip sites had picked up on their falling out, especially after seeing that, though they loved the new information about Foundling even more.

Hux had invited her to come along with him to a private gala, just her and him. He was allowed one guest, and didn't feel like suffering through silence with Kylo, nor did he want to have an awkward night with Beckles. There would be plenty of security at the gala, he didn't need Kylo there.

Foundling wasn't used to being around just him, so the ship ride was quiet. Hux didn't know what to say to her. A few times she opened her mouth to say something, but would close it and look away. As the ship moved through hyperspace, she mostly watched the blue streaks outside the viewport. 

When the ship exited hyperspace and descended down to a planet, she spoke, "Why'd you ask me to come with you?"

"You're my daughter, I thought we could have a nice night out."

"The gossip sites are going to be shocked you're not going with Dad."

"Ren doesn't enjoy my company, I don't want to burden him with it anymore than I have to."

"But he-" She stopped herself, and looked away. Hux wanted to demand to know what she had been about to say. He didn't, though. He wanted this to be a nice evening. "Why'd you break up with him?"

"I didn't. He filed a divorce form, and put it on my desk. It was already filled out and signed, it just needed my signature." That'd been a miserable morning. He'd had to excuse himself before he could get sick in front of his subordinates. Foundling nodded.

-

Kylo frowned as another one of his monsters on the board was defeated, getting clubbed down. There wasn't much to do with the Emperor and Foundling gone, so he had asked Beckles if she wanted to play a game of Dejarik.

He hadn't expected her to be so good at it. The only person who ever beat him was Hux, and now it looked like Beckles was going to win too. 

"I didn't expect you to be so good at this game, Mr. Ren!" It was almost insulting to hear her say that. He'd been playing all his life, he was great at it. "Foundling's awful at Dejarick. She's never won the game in her life, no matter who she plays. I've tried teaching her, but she just doesn't get the strategy."

He had to teach her how to play. He sent her a message over comm, and then focused back on the game.

"Where'd you learn how to play, Mr. Ren?"

"My father taught me. How about you?" He managed to get one of her monsters.

"I picked it up growing up. Learned how to win so I could get enough money to get by. I won a ship once but they stole it back when I landed for fuel, it's how I got stranded where Foundling was. I'm real good at gambling, no one expects it from me."

She killed another one of his.

-

Foundling didn't like socializing with the high class, Hux noticed. She never knew what to say to them, and would give one word answers to questions. She could strike up conversations with the low class or workers without any difficulty. She'd definitely taken after Ren in that respect. Hux tried to do as much as the socializing as possible, answering as many of the questions directed at Foundling as he could. 

She was grateful, he could tell by the way she squeezed his hand whenever he answered. Eventually, people got the hint, and would direct their questions to him, giving Foundling just greetings. 

They made their way through all the people, and to the middle of the room. There was a band playing some song Hux was sure was a classic somewhere in the inner rim, and people were dancing. He'd learned dancing with Kylo when he became Emperor, had been surprised that Kylo was a decent dancer already. Normally, he'd dance with Kylo at these events, grabbing at the chance to enjoy himself and be so close to his husband.

Ex-husband.

He sighed, looking at the other people dancing. He forced down the jealously that threatened to well up. He turned and offered a hand to Foundling. She stared at it. 

"I don't know how to dance."

"It's alright. I'll show you."

"You should've brought Beckles, she's a great dancer." Hux was sure his daughter's girlfriend was a good show dancer. "For this kind of stuff, too. Provided her dance partner isn't too tall."

"I'll bring her along next time. Come on, it's not too difficult. Would you like the lead position? You're Ren's height. I'm afraid I'm used to being the follower."

"I- I guess." Hux helped her get into starting position, moving her hands into place. "I think I watched a holofilm where people danced like this, once."

"That's something, at least. Now, step like this..." She picked up quickly. Soon enough, they were dancing. It wasn't horrible, and no one was staring in disapproval. Foundling was having fun. "You're doing very well for a beginner."

"Beckles may, uh, have tried to teach me once."

Hux laughed. They danced until he got thirsty. They made their way over to the bar, and Hux got himself a drink. Foundling declined when he offered some of his to her, citing that she'd promised her girlfriend she wouldn't drink at the gathering. Beckles was worried about them, she'd explained. 

He chuckled at that, taking a sip of his drink. "Darling, this is the first gathering I've been to since your father divorced me. I'm getting drunk."

"I thought you were enjoying yourself..."

"I am, darling, don't feel like I don't like spending time with you. I'm just... I'm not taking it well, and I feel I can deal with it around you."

"Do you... Do you still love Dad?"

"Ask me that after a few more drinks, darling. We need to speak to these sycophants again, unfortunately." She smiled a bit at that. He downed the rest of the drink, and turned back to the bar. "What's the strongest thing you offer here? Give me a full glass."

After two glasses, he felt positively drunk. It was definitely noticeable, but he was too intoxicated to care. Foundling followed him around like a puppy as he went from person to person, chatting and laughing. A few people brought up Kylo, so he grabbed a glass of wine from a servant carrying a tray of them. 

"Mum? I think you've had enough." Foundling tried to take the glass from him, but he pulled back and gulped it down. "Mum..."

"I feel great, darling!"

"You're only drinking because you're sad that Dad doesn't spend time with you."

"Not true. I'm drinking because I'm heartbroken that he doesn't love me anymore."

"He said you never really loved him." Had Ren spoken to her about this? Hux hoped he hadn't influenced Foundling into disliking him. His good mood quickly diminished at the thought. Foundling had no reason to like him. He was the one who'd abandoned her, and now Ren was telling her he was heartless and a liar.

"That's a kriffing lie. I love him so much I could just die. He's an idiot for not seeing that." What good was all his power if he couldn't tell that he loved him, Hux thought bitterly. "You know, darling, he told me to my face that I don't love him, and I thought I was going to be sick. It was like he was possessed- If he hadn't murdered Snoke, I would say it was him."

"Snoke? Who's that?"

"Your father's old master. Was in his head since birth. It doesn't matter now, he died years ago."

Foundling took his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Darling, do you hate me? I'll understand if you do. I'm not exactly a good mother by any means."

"No! You're a nice person. Dad may say otherwise, but I know you had a good reason for leaving me. It doesn't matter to me, anyways. I had a good life. I liked podracing, I met Beckles- I would have been miserable on a ship. You found me after my last race, and now Becks and I can live in more luxury than we ever dreamed of. It's perfect timing. Just... Let the past die. Think about now, your Empire, me, Beckles..."

She didn't say Ren. Hux stared down at the floor. He was swaying a bit. Foundling started to lead him to the side, where there were tables and chairs.

A servant came over with a tray of cups. "Would you two be interested in some nonalcoholic drinks?"

"Sure." Foundling reached for one closet to her. Being opposite of her, Hux noticed the green stain on the inside of the cup. The servant was smirking. Their uniform wasn't exactly like the others.

He was too drunk to think of another idea, so he brought his arm down on the tray, spilling the rest of the cups everywhere, smashing against the floor. None of them had the green. He took Foundling's cup and drank from it.

"Mum?" The servant took off, and Foundling realized what'd happened. "No!" She pulled the cup from him, but it was too late. A bit of green dripped down his chin.

He felt dizzy, and not from the alcohol. His knees gave out, and Foundling caught him and lowered him down. "Someone get a medic! He's been poisoned!"

Everything but Foundling's worried face above him seemed to be spinning. He smiled. At least he'd die from protecting his daughter. Maybe Ren would forgive him because of that. He wondered if Ren would grieve him at all. He couldn't move his legs, so he knew he was fading fast. He lifted a hand to Foundling's cheek. She held it there.

"Mum, it'll be okay. Stay awake."

"Darling, it's fine..."

"No! I'm not gonna let you die for me! I just got you back, I'm not letting you go so soon."

"You have Ren... I know he won't believe it, but tell him... Tell him I loved him. I always have, and I'm sorry I couldn't prove it to him like I should have."

"Dad loves you. Don't die, you have to tell him that yourself."

He shook his head. "Foundling, I'm glad I got you back... I left you because I was too scared to raise you, because we didn't know anything about children. It was for the best, I think, that Ren and I got you back as an adult." He couldn't hold his arm up anymore. Everything was fading. "I love you, darling..."

"I love you too, Mom."

-

Once Hux was stable, he was rushed to a full medcenter. Foundling was left in the waiting room with a few stormtroopers. She'd messaged Kylo about what happened, though she was sure he would have heard what happened from the HoloNet. News spread really fast, especially when it involved someone like the Emperor.

She'd received an update from a medic that Hux could get family visitors, and that he would likely get better. However, the poison was strong, and they weren't sure when he'd wake up, if he ever did. At any time, she could see him, but she wanted to wait for Kylo.

He arrived with Beckles, worry on his face. Beckles went up and hugged Foundling. 

"Is Hux alright?"

Foundling shrugged. "They've got him stabilized. They're optimistic that he'll recover, but whatever the poison was, it was really strong."

"What happened?"

"Someone tried to poison me with a drink, and he took it and drank it instead." She wiped her eyes. "He told me to tell you that he loves you, he always did, and he wished he'd proven that to you."

"But..."

"You both made a big deal out of something that really didn't need to be that dramatic. I'm glad my life was the way it was, you don't need to hate him for it. I would have been a miserable child if you two raised me, so get over it." He frowned. "Neither of you have ever been fit to raise a young child, I can see that. If I wasn't an adult finally content with a peaceful life, I would have run away by now."

"I don't hate him."

"He thinks you do. Get over it, he needs you. What use is all your power if you can't use it to tell that he really does love you?" That wasn't something she would say, nor Hux to her.

Right, she had grown good at picking up thoughts in the Force. Hux's thoughts came especially easy to her. It was something Hux would think while drunk, though. If Foundling was so convinced Hux actually loved him, maybe she was right. He felt guilty. At any time, he could have used the Force to see if Hux was lying when he said he loved him, could have looked through his thoughts. 

If he had, then Hux would have taken him to the gala, and he wouldn't potentially be on his deathbed. 

He needed to see him and make sure. He went up to the front desk. "What room is Emperor Hux in?"

"Are you family?"

"I'm his husband."

The droid gave him a look, somehow. "I'm sorry, sir, but the Emperor is divorced, and has not remarried. In fact, the only family he has listed is his daughter and her fiancée." Foundling and Beckles weren't engaged. Or maybe they were. He had no idea. He'd ask later.

"I need to see him."

"Miss Foundling and Beckles are over there, so I'm afraid you're not family. You may not see him until he wakes up and agrees to let you in."

"I'm his daughter's father."

"You're his ex-husband. That cuts off any familial relationship."

"What if Foundling says I can go in?"

"She'll have to ask his doctor's permission for that."

Infuriating. He went back to Foundling. "You two are engaged?" She shrugged. 

Beckles giggled. "Someone asked Foundling if we were, and she hesitated, so they put it in the records that we are."

-

It was a few hours before Hux's medic returned with an update. Kylo paced, restraining himself from just going to the Emperor and forcing his way into his room to see him. Hux was finally showing signs of regaining consciousness, the medic said, and it would be good for him to see a familiar face when he woke up. 

"He's going to be very weak, so it'll be a comfort to have a family member with him that he won't be too embarrassed in front of. He won't be able to move much for a few days."

"Would it be alright if my father came in with me?"

"I was told the Emperor had been divorced."

"Emperor Hux has always been comforted by his Knight, regardless of their marriage status."

"Well, as long as it doesn't cause him any unnecessary stress, it won't hurt him. Come along, I'll show you to his room."

-

Kylo winced when he saw Hux. The redhead rarely ever got sick, so he was unused to seeing him in a medcenter. He was deathly pale. His hair was a mess, sticking to his sweaty forehead. A blanket was pulled up to just below his chest, and Kylo was reminded of how slim Hux's shoulders were, how frail it made him look. Various wires were hooked to a few machines, a few IV lines inserting different things into him.

Worst of all was the tube going down his throat, a machine doing the breathing for him. A medical droid was taking his vitals, and beeped an update to the medic. Kylo went to Hux's side, taking his hand. He was cold. Squeezing his hand, he could feel a faint pulse.

"The droid says he's gotten enough lung strength back to breathe without the tube. I'll remove it in a moment."

Kylo looked away as it was removed, but didn't let go of Hux's hand. The medic gave Hux a nasal cannula instead. Hux shifted his head a bit, brows furrowing slightly. His breathing wasn't as strong as it was with the machine, but the extra oxygen made up for it. Kylo brushed his hair from his clammy forehead, fixing it the best he could with his fingers.

"The poison was a mixture of two substances, the first acted like a paralysis, and the second attacked his cells. We were able to null the first poison in his bloodstream, and halted the second. There will be lasting damage if he survives, if the Emperor was a young man, I would say that with a lot of rehabilitation, he would return to full strength, but he's an older man, his body is naturally slowing down anyways.

Maybe medicine couldn't fix him, but Kylo was sure that he could figure out a way with the Force. Snoke had told him the tale of a Sith who could heal those he loved, even from death. His grandfather had never managed to learn that. He would.

But for now, he needed to take care of him. It wouldn't be good for him to devote himself to learning the secrets of the Force when Hux still needed him.

"Although I said he looks like he may wake up soon, I wouldn't be surprised if it takes a few days before he's truly awake. Expect brief moments of partial consciousness. He won't be able to move much, so don't try to make him or let him try too hard. This will be a longer recovery."

"Are there any other symptoms we should expect?"

"Fever, chills, sweating. His extremities are going to be cold due to poor circulation for a while. We have him on nutrients and fluids to make up for everything. Fatigue and muscle weakness are a given. His medication may make him nauseous."

After doing another check with the droid on Hux's vitals, and adjusting some of the fluids, the medic left them be. Kylo pulled over a chair, and sat down, keeping hold of Hux's hand. He brought it up and kissed his fingers. Foundling and Beckles took the other chair in the room, looking out the window and talking quietly to each other.

-

Kylo didn't sleep that night, keeping watch over Hux. He didn't want to miss him waking up. Foundling slept on the chair, Beckles on top of her. Kylo found an extra blanket and put it on them.

In the afternoon, Hux started shifting again, tiny movements that were barely noticeable. "Hux?" His eyes opened slightly, staring off. Kylo put a hand on his cheek, and Hux looked at him. "Hux, it's me, how are you feeling?"

The Emperor made a small sound, smiling. Kylo stroked his cheek, sensing the content coming off of the redhead. He was just conscious enough to be happy that he was there. Kylo kissed his forehead, and then moved down to his lips. Hux's fingers twitched as he tried to squeeze his hand back. Without any strength, though, he couldn't do it. Kylo squeezed his hand instead.

Hux closed his eyes, and was unconscious again.

Sighing, Kylo leaned back in his chair. He felt conflicted. He loved Hux, had a happy daughter who had enjoyed her life, but... The feeling of betrayal was there, anxiety that Hux didn't really love him trying to hold him back. It reminded him of Snoke. 

However, he had Hux to himself now. Nothing could disturb him, he could find out the truth. He held out his hand, and focused with the Force.

-

_Hux is rubbing his belly, looking down at it. The baby is moving inside, and Hux is scared. Doesn't know what to do, how to feel, Ren's going to hate me would he be happy he'll be angry he'll hurt me can't tell him can'ttellhimcan'tdoitcan'tcan'tcan'tdothis he'll kill me-_

_The baby is wailing, a little girl that looks so much like Ren. She's wrapped in a towel and Hux doesn't know what to do to make her calm down. He knows nothing about kids, can't raise one, he has to do this he has to get rid of her for her own good. She'll die there but at least she won't die by Ren or Snoke's hand, won't be taken away. He doesn't want her but he doesn't want to lose he'd in a way he can't control. Hates her loves her he can't keep her it'll ruin everything has to leave her-_

_Can't look Ren in the eyes can't let him know-_

_It's their wedding day. Hux is so happy. He's looking at Ren, thinking he's the light of the universe, the only thing he needs. Ren vows to be forever faithful and honest to him, and Hux promises the same. Liar liar liarliarliarliarwhataboutthechildyou'relyingtohimthegalaxyisoursliarliarLIARLIARLIAR-_

_They're back in the palace and Foundling is walking down the hall. Hux is so relieved that Ren doesn't hate them, that they can be a family. Only now Ren is angry Ren is furious what did you expect did you think he'd forgiveyouliarliargoingtobesickhurtshurtsnodon'tleaveI'msorrysorry-_

_Foundling is crouched over him, everything is fading, and the room spins around them. His daughter he's so proud of, he wants her to be safe, tells her to tell Ren what he wasn't good enough to prove, what he failed at. He loves Ren and wants him to forgive him, but that won't happen and everything is fading and Foundling is shouting for help there's nothing she can do he's glad to die this way instead of miserable and alone he protected her now Ren can protect her Ren Ren he misses him so much it hurts and **LEAVE HIM ALONE-**_

Kylo bit his tongue to keep from making any noise as he was knocked out of Hux's mind. Foundling was mumbling in her sleep behind him. He looked back at her, and saw she looked troubled. Beckles had gone off to get them all food, and Foundling had taken a nap.

Unconsciously protecting Hux. They had a strong bond considering Hux rarely spent time with her. That was his fault, though, for always being around their daughter and not letting Hux see her. Saving her life had probably deepened the bond.

He sent a calm feeling through the Force towards her, and she settled. Turning back to Hux, he saw he looked worse. Pale, twitching. His mouth was set in a frown.

Guilt crashed down onto him. He'd hurt Hux while going through his head. He was supposed to be apologizing to him, and he'd hurt him. Standing up, he left the room.

-

Hux slowly opened his eyes. Everything felt heavy and numb. Wherever he was, it was bright and white. His vision was blurry, so he couldn't make out any defining details.

Someone was standing above him. He couldn't make out their face, but he could tell they had black hair. "Ren...?" He'd had a lovely dream that Ren had been with him, but perhaps it'd been reality.

"No, Mum, it's me." A dream, then. He didn't let himself be disappointed.

Foundling. She was okay. Hux smiled, trying to lift up his hand. He could barely move his arm. She held his hand and brought it up instead. "Hello, darling..."

"How are you feeling, Mum?"

"Tired..."

"The medic said you should be okay. You have some permanent damage, but nothing life threatening."

"I'm cold..." Some feeling was coming back to him, icy cold in all his limbs, slowly spreading to his core. Foundling squeezed his hand. There was a prick in his other arm, and he looked over to see another person. A medic, most likely.

Exhaustion seeped into him. He tried to stay awake, but closed his eyes, falling back asleep.

-

His stomach churned as he looked down at the bowl of soup a medic had set down in front of him. He'd been staying awake longer and longer as the days went by. Foundling and Beckles showed up every day to visit him, for at least an hour. Occasionally, Kylo came with them. He only ever stood off to the side, hood up and keeping his face hidden. Hux wished he could see his face, talk to him. 

Kylo never looked at him, and Hux tried not to let it make him feel too heartbroken. He did his best to focus on Foundling, but it was difficult with Kylo standing right there, acting as if he didn't even exist.

Foundling and Beckles had left to go find lunch of their own outside of the medcenter, leaving Kylo with Hux to keep him company while he ate. Hux wanted them to come back. He wanted a distraction.

Staring down at his meal, acutely aware of Ren's presence in the room, Hux wished the poison had really killed him. It wasn't the first time he'd thought that, but he was feeling it especially so at that moment. He was still extremely weak, nauseous from his medication, and the man he loved was standing off to the side, ignoring him.

He could move his limbs now, but it was difficult to get his arm to stay up when he grabbed the spoon. The limb began trembling, and the soup just spilled back into the bowl. He didn't bother trying again, crossing his arms over his chest to try and keep warm. He was always so cold. The hospital blanket didn't do much for conserving his limited body heat. Foundling would hold his hands when he shivered, but he was still cold. He'd been warmest the one time Foundling put Beckles on top of him. It'd been fine until he had difficulty breathing with a weight on his chest.

The soup was nice and warm, but he was too weak to eat it and get warmed up. By the time Foundling got back and could help him, it'd be cold.

He supposed he could have the medical droid on call help him eat. He reached for the button, but it was too far, knocked out of place. The medic must have pumped into it while checking his IV bag.

Miserable, he brought his arm back. Stars, he was cold. He started to shiver, but couldn't get warm. His body was wasting his low energy to try and fail at getting warm.

"R-Ren?" Kylo tensed. Hux swallowed, and asked, "C-can you h-help me?" He hated that his shivering affected his voice.

"...Sure." It was so nice to hear Kylo's voice, even for just one word. The man came up to the bed, and Hux perked up a bit. Kylo couldn't truly hate him if he'd help him eat. If he did, he'd leave it to someone else.

Instead of reaching for the spoon, Kylo picked up the call button and put it next to the bowl. Hux's heart sank as Kylo walked back to the corner. His appetite completely gone, he closed his eyes. He'd just wait for Foundling to come back and force him to eat. At least then he wouldn't be alone.

He couldn't fall asleep. Eventually, he gave up on sleeping and opened his eyes. Almost instantly, he was hit by a wave of nausea. He covered his mouth, doing his best to will himself not to vomit. He didn't want to sit there covered in vomit until a medic came and cleaned him up. That'd make him feel even worse.

After a few minutes, the nausea passed. Hux leaned his head back, feeling pathetic. He really wished Foundling hadn't saved him. It'd be so much better than this. She and Beckles were the only ones who would have cared, anyways, and they barely knew him. They'd have gotten over it.

He wondered if there was a way he could do it now. He didn't have the strength to get up and do something so he wasn't sure. He looked around his immediate surroundings. The IV needle in his arm looked like the only usable thing, though he wasn't sure how yet. 

There was always biting his tongue. He doubted he had the strength to do it, but he could always try. 

"Armitage." Hux looked over at Kylo. His hood was still up, but he wasn't leaning against the walk anymore. "Don't think about doing something so awful."

"W-what do you c-care? You h-hate me." 

"I don't hate you." Hux wanted to believe him, but couldn't. Kylo wouldn't be ignoring him while he was ill if he loved him. That wasn't how his husband was. Kylo pulled down his hood. His eyes looked wet. "I thought you didn't love me. I was wrong. I know you do, now. I never stopped loving you, Armitage. How can I make things up between us?"

He wanted things to go back to normal. Kylo hugged him. "You're so cold..." He picked up the spoon and gave Hux some soup. It was slightly warm. Hux leaned closer to him.

-

"Oh, good, you two finally made up!" Beckles clapped her hands together when she and Foundling came back. Foundling just smirked. Kylo had gotten worried about Hux's shivering after feeding him and gave him his cloak. When he was still cold, Kylo got into the bed next to him and held him. Hux snuggled up as close as he could. He was smiling in his sleep, content in his lover's arms.

"Don't wake him."

"Took you both long enough. I was getting worried."

-

Before Hux could attempt to lift the box on the bed, Kylo came and lifted it for him. The Emperor huffed. "I could have gotten that."

"Your arms get sore from carrying a datapad for too long. This is heavy. Lie down and rest."

"I wanted to work out with you today." It was months since he'd been poisoned, but he was still weak. Lifting things was difficult for him, and he got exhausted easily. The medics had told him to get plenty of exercise to try and rebuild a portion of his former strength, but it wasn't going well.

Kylo set the box down where it belonged, and returned to Hux's side, gently pushing him down onto the bed. "You're worn out from that gala. You need to rest."

Hux grumbled, but got into bed. Kylo helped him remove his boots and coat. "Stars, I feel pathetic."

"You're not pathetic." Kylo kissed him. "You're sick."

"I've been sick for months." He tugged on the front of Kylo's shirt.

Kylo let Hux tug him down, laying down beside him. "Mm. I'll take care of you forever, don't worry." He hadn't told him he was looking for a way to fix him. He knew it would upset him that he too saw the effects of the poison as a problem that needed to be solved. It wasn't that he saw it as a bad problem, he'd dutifully care for Hux and make sure he was comfortable for the rest of their lives, but he'd like to cure him and get rid of the insecurity Hux felt.

"Even when I'm old and even weaker than I am now?"

"You're already old, Hux."

"I'm barely five years older than you. You're old, too."

"I'm middle aged. You're the old one."

"Our daughter just turned twenty six."

"We had her young."

"I was thirty. That's not young." Kylo pulled a blanket up over them. He took Hux's hand. "Ren, you're not listening."

"We were so young back then. We weren't old enough to do something like Starkiller."

"I took pride in being the youngest General. I was mature enough for Starkiller."

"Shh, get some sleep. We can work out after you've taken a nap."

**Author's Note:**

> Follow/talk to me on Tumblr: @Oblioknowlton or @Tinybibmpreg


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